Tag: narrative nonfiction

Writing

Embracing the Evolution: Why Nonfiction PB Word Counts Grow in Editing

Kirsten W. Larson

As writers of nonfiction picture books, we often find ourselves grappling with the question of word count. In the early stages of crafting our manuscripts, we strive to adhere to the industry-recommended range of 800 to 1,000 words, fearful of exceeding the limits. Yet once books are acquired, they most frequently grow longer. This is what I discovered in my word count survey of debut, nonfiction picture book authors. You can read the survey results here.

I dug into the data to see how frequently debut word counts increased and by how much.

Expository NonfictionPB biographies
% of manuscripts whose word counts increased during editing58% of the books50% of the books
Average word count increase99 words201 words
Range of word count increase5 to 400 words22 to 500 words
Results of the Nonfiction Picture Book Word Count Survey for Debut Authors conducted by Kirsten W. Larson (kirstenwlarson.com)

Adding Depth to Nonfiction

Why the surprising results? Last month, I mused that when we initially submit our nonfiction manuscripts, we may have unconsciously stripped away some of the vivid scenes, the emotional resonance, and the juicy details in an effort to conform to the perceived word count constraints. However, during the editing process, these crucial elements are often reintroduced, deepening our manuscripts.

Editors nudge us to add kid-friendly details, context, and emotion and stakes, allowing our stories to truly shine. This naturally expands our word counts, but in doing so, we create a more engaging experience for our readers. 

I invited authors (some debut, others experienced) to chime in on why their manuscripts grew longer during editing.

Reintroducing the Juicy Details

As author Kelly Rice Schmitt shared about her book I Fuel, “Although my forthcoming book I Fuel is infofic, the whole book is 100% true except for the fact that the narrator is oil. This was expanded after acquisitions to add more detail on some of the science behind certain parts of the processes. It went from 280 words to 380 words.”

“The same thing happened with Deep, Deep Down,” Lydia Lukidis said. “It got longer through the editing process as they wanted me to add in fact boxes and expand on certain parts. I try not to obsess over word count but also, to stay within reasonable parameters.”

Deepening the Emotional Connection

For narrative nonfiction, emotional depth is paramount, and editors often encourage us to delve deeper into the motivations, struggles, and triumphs of our protagonists. As Jilanne Hoffmann shared about her book A River of Dust, “My editor wanted me to emphasize the relationship/friendship between the two continents a little more. I sat with that comment for bit and figured out that the structure of the book hadn’t quite come full circle. It was “almost” there, so I added a couple of lines at the beginning and the end to make the circle feel satisfying. And voila! A longer word count, and a more satisfying feeling of connection – separation – connection.”

I had a similar experience with Wood, Wire, Wings, my first narrative nonfiction manuscript. My editor, Carolyn Yoder at Calkins Creek, wanted me to dig in to reveal more of Lilian Todd’s motivation to tinker (from her childhood) and the stakes, as well as to heighten her emotional arc from spark through struggle and final success. Many of these moments required crafting mini scenes, which took more words than summarizing.

Making New Craft Decisions

Author and editor craft choices like structure and voice can result in books growing longer too. Amanda Davis said, “I know for me, my (unannounced) nonfiction title grew longer after acquisition and during the editing process because we made it a dual narrative, which added a lot more biographical elements to the story. The thought was that this could be helpful to the school and library market.”

Heather Montgomery’s experience with What’s in Your Pocket illustrates how voice choices can also influence word count: “My NF PB What’s In Your Pocket lengthened significantly after acquisition because we realized the need for a refrain which increased both page number and word count.”

Tailoring to the Publisher’s Vision

Sometimes, the growth in word count stems from specific publisher preferences or stylistic choices. As Linda Rose Zajac shared about her book Robo-Motion, “My editor requested a short intro and summary at the beginning and end of the text because all books in the series were set up that way.”

Tziporah Cohen said, “My PB bio, ON THE CORNER OF CHOCOLATE AVENUE: HOW MILTON HERSHEY BROUGHT MILK CHOCOLATE TO AMERICA was 748 words on submission and 1088 on publication (40 pages), not counting side bars. I would say it grew mostly because my editor was not a fan of backmatter, and we ended up putting a lot of the backmatter info into the text, though we still kept a timeline at the end.”

Publisher requirements also drove the growth of Christine Van Zandt’s A Brief History of Underpants. “It was 1113 on submittal but at 32 pages. The publisher wanted it to be a 48-page book with fewer words per page. … I was to have a max of 60 words per two-page spread, so 20 x 60 = 1200 words. …it came in at 1185 words.”

Story First and Foremost

My tried and true advice? Don’t get so caught up in cutting your story to 800 or 1,000 words, especially in the early stages. Take the words you need to tell the story you need to tell. As we learned last month, nonfiction picture books weigh in at a variety of word counts. And their length is often more a function of the age of their target reader.

Are you ready to revise your nonfiction picture book, to add emotional resonance, and up the kid appeal? I’ve got a book for that. Check out Reimagining Your Nonfiction Picture Book: A step-by-step revision guide.

Books, Writing

Reblog: Evolution of an Opening: Tracing the Revisions of Wood, Wire, Wings: Emma Lilian Todd Invents an Airplane

Kirsten W. Larson

Have you ever wondered how many tries it takes to nail the just-right opening for a book? The answer is — many!

Lea Maryanow recently asked me to contribute to her “Spot the Difference” series where she featured authors and their various attempts at their picture book beginnings. It was a wonderful opportunity to share the evolution of the opening for Wood, Wire, Wings: Emma Lilian Todd Invents an Airplane. I encourage you to read the rest of the entries in Lea’s blog series, here. Here’s my contribution:

This is the book cover for WOOD, WIRE, WINGS.

As writers, we all know that opening lines are crucial for hooking the reader. But crafting the perfect opening often takes numerous revisions and rewrites. This was truly the case with my first picture book biography, Wood, Wire, Wings: Emma Lilian Todd Invents an Airplane, illustrated by Tracy Subisak (Calkins Creek, 2020). I learned so much about writing these books from editor Carolyn Yoder.

I began this book in February 2014 in Susanna Hill’s Making Picture Book Magic Class. One of my earliest drafts from March 2014 opened by establishing Lilian’s innate curiosity and tinkering spirit from a young age. Starting with a character trait is a common technique in picture book biographies:

Even as a child, Emma Lilian Todd couldn’t hold a bit of wire or scrap of tin without twisting and turning them, tinkering until she had something new. While most girls in 1860s played with dolls, Lilian transformed a toy and a Christmas tree topper into a working weather vane, her first practical invention.”

I sent my draft through my critique group soon thereafter. The opening of my next draft (May 2014) keeps this childhood anecdote but tightens the writing and adds more context contrasting Lilian with other girls of her era:

While many girls in the 1860s played with dolls, Lilian Todd toyed with bits of wire and scraps of tin. She couldn’t hold them without twisting and turning them, tinkering until she had something new. In her hands, a toy and a Christmas tree topper became a working weather vane. It was her first useful invention.”

I got my agent, Lara Perkins at Andrea Brown Literary Agency, with this draft. We then rolled up our sleeves and began to work on the manuscript together. During that process, I came up with a different opening in May 2016 (shown below). It drops the idea of Lilian being different from other girls, which could apply to almost any barrier-breaking woman of the time. Instead, I really leaned into what made Lilian unique, introducing her as a prolific tinkerer surrounded by her tools and materials:

Toolbox by her side, Emma Lilian Todd whacked and snapped and snipped. In her hands, wood, wire, and tin transformed into tiny airplanes. When she ran out of metal, Lilian saved tin cans from her supper. Ta-da! Propellers. But building model airplanes wasn’t enough for Lilian. She dreamed big…”

We went out on submission with the manuscript and got interest from Carolyn Yoder at Calkins Creek. But the manuscript wasn’t quite there. Carolyn asked for a revise and resubmit, which led to the opening below in January 2017. This time I pulled back, using a broad premise to frame the story as one about problem-solving:

When Emma Lilian Todd saw problems, she sought solutions. Some problems were small, like where to find tin to make her machines (Answer: She saved tin cans from her supper.) Other problems were huge. This is the story of how Lilian solved the biggest problem of her life — how to fly.”

Calkins Creek acquired the manuscript in early 2017, but there was still work to do. In April 2017 I submitted the final opening, which was accepted. It combines pieces from the previous versions into an evocative metaphor. I also improved the voice with some flight-related language. The final opening highlights Lilian’s problem-solving nature, captures the idea of her as a maker and tinkerer, and establishes her problem/goal.:

For Emma Lilian Todd, problems were like gusts of wind: they set her mind soaring. Sometimes the problems seemed small, like where to find metal to craft her inventions (Answer: She saved tin cans from her supper.) But soon Lilian’s challenges ballooned. This is the story of how Lilian puzzled out the most exciting problem of her day — flight.”

As you can see, it can take many years, lots of input, and many revisions to hit on that “just

right” opening. It’s a process. But if you stay flexible and open, you’ll hit on that

beginning that makes your story sparkle.

Writing

Results: Nonfiction Picture Book Word Count Survey for Debut Authors

Kirsten W. Larson

One of the most frequently asked questions I get from newer nonfiction picture book writers is: “How many words should my book be?”

Nonfiction picture book writers often have heard their book must be 1,000 words or fewer, sometimes even 800 words or fewer. But is this really true? To get the straight scoop, I undertook a word count survey for debut nonfiction authors in early 2024 to see what word counts editors are actually acquiring and publishing.

Methodology

The authors in the survey had not previously been published in any category. The reasoning was that previously published authors, no matter the genre or category, may have more freedom and flexibility when it came to word count.

This was an opt-in survey that used a Google form to collect data (The form is still open so I can continue to collect data). Aside from publicizing the survey on social media, I reached out to debut authors I found by searching Publishers Marketplace deals from 2021 onward (when PM started breaking out nonfiction picture books from fiction picture books) and by contacting authors through debut picture book marketing groups.

The data set includes books acquired between 2017 and 2023 for publication between 2020 and 2027. I included not-yet published books in the survey, as long as editing and the basic layout were complete so the final word count and page count were known.

My survey was open from February 7, 2024-March 7, 2024, and received 40 responses, 14 of which were picture book biographies; 26 other nonfiction.

Publishers represented include: Calkins Creek, Minedition, Barefoot Books, Millbrook, Beaming Books, HarperCollins, Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, Chronicle, Web of Life Books, Knopf, Running Press Kids, Capstone, Albert Whitman, Peachtree, Scholastic, Sleeping Bear, Becker & Mayer Kids, Yeehoo Press, Worthy Kids, Page Street Kids, Holiday House, Viking, Simon & Schuster, Sky Pony Press, Kar-Ben Publishing, and Tilbury House.

The results

PB biosOther Nonfiction PBs
Average word count at acquisitions1,116 words497 words
Word count range at acquisitions737 to 2,000 words93 to 1,113 words
Average word count at publication1,086 words547 words
Word count range at publication730 to 1,400 words74 to 1,185 words
Most common page count40 pages32 pages
Target age range (lower limit)5.36 years4.31 years
Target age range (upper limit)9.07 years8.23 years
Word count survey for nonfiction picture book authors conducted February 2024-March 2024 by author Kirsten W. Larson

Analysis – Picture Book Biography Word Counts

So, do nonfiction picture books have to be under 1,000 words to be acquired? The answer is no, especially when it comes to picture book biographies. Picture book biographies (PB bios) tend to be longer than other nonfiction picture books, both at acquisitions and at publication. The range at publication was 730 to 1,400 words.

And here’s another really interesting tidbit: 50% percent of the time, a PB bio’s word count INCREASED during the editing process. The sweet spot seems to be in the range of 850 to 1,300 words, when you remove the shortest and longest books.

It might be helpful here to have a chart that shows both word counts at acquisitions and publication for each PB bio in the study.

Why do PB bios run 1,000 words or more?

Well, first of all they are geared towards older readers (5.26-9.07 years), compared to both fiction picture books and other nonfiction picture books. They then spread those words over more pages. The most common book length in the study was 40 pages, compared to 32 pages for fiction picture books or other nonfiction picture books.

Another factor that could contribute to higher word counts is PB bios’ narrative structure, which makes use of scenes. Crafting vivid scenes — snippets of minute-by-minute action with thoughts/emotion and potentially dialog– requires more words than summarizing information after the fact.

Analysis – Word Counts for Other Nonfiction

Other picture book nonfiction had a much wider word count range, from 93 words to 1,113. There was an extreme outlier — a book of 6,000 words and 48 pages, which was 6,400 words at acquisitions — which I had to exclude from the summary data because it was throwing the picture off.

Why are other nonfiction books shorter than PB bios?

These books often are targeted at younger readers, closer to the traditional 4-8 picture book age range. They include books with spare, poetic text. And these books commonly make use of sidebars and other text features on the page, which are supplementary. Sidebars and other text features add information, but are not counted in the main text.

How did word counts change during the editing process for other nonfiction picture books?

As with the picture book biographies, the word counts of these books most frequently increased during the editing process, which leads to the question: why?

Future Questions: Why do word counts typically increase with editing?

What accounts for word counts increasing during the editing process? I’m not sure, and I would love for some nonfiction editors (and debut nonfiction authors) to weigh in!

I wonder if our self-imposed limits of 800 to 1,000 words result in flatter writing, forcing us to strip out some of the scenes, emotion, and juicy details. Once acquired these bits get added back in during the editing process. I have no data to support this, but I’m eager to know what editors and authors are experiencing. If you are an editor or an author who debuted with picture book nonfiction, please share your experience below.

#MentorTextMoment, Writing

Talking About Takeaways

Kirsten W. Larson

Last month, I encouraged writers of all ages to ask themselves, “What’s your point?” This question comes from Lisa Cron in STORY GENIUS. Asking yourself this question is a great way to arrive at the takeaway for your story (which others may call the message or moral of a story). You can read more about finding your takeaway here.

This month I want to focus on how different takeaways influence choices we make as writers in terms of structure, voice, point of view (POV), and more. For an example, let’s look a three different bee books.

This image group shows three different book covers of bee books -- GIVE BEES A CHANCE, HONEYBEE, and IF BEES DISAPPEARED

A Tale of Three Bee Books

Cover to GIVE BEES A CHANCE by Bethany Barton

In GIVE BEES A CHANCE by Bethany Barton, Barton’s point (or takeaway) is that we should all give bees a chance. Bees are helpful, and mostly not harmful to humans. Because Barton is upending our usual notions of bees as pests, she takes a humorous approach and adopts a humorous voice. Her text is persuasive versus simply informative. The book is set up as a conversation between a child who hates bees and a narrator working to convince the child that bees aren’t all bad. Each spread gives a reason why the child should give bees a chance and value them. By the end, the child is mostly convinced, meaning there’s a bit of a narrative arc, but I wouldn’t classify this as a narrative book per se.

This is the cover to HONEYBEE by Candace Fleming illustrated by Eric Rohmann.

HONEYBEE by Candace Fleming, illustrated by Eric Rohmann makes the point that brief lives can have great value. Fleming focuses on the busy life of one particular bee from birth to death. You could think of this book as a cradle to grave biography of a bee following the narrative structure most biographies adopt. In the beginning, the bee is waiting for the day it can fly, but as the book moves on, the bee realizes the role it has to play in the hive and its life’s work. This powerful message is supported by Fleming’s choice to use a lyrical voice and close third-person POV from the perspective of the bee.

This is the cover of IF BEES DISAPPEARED by Lily Williams.

In IF BEES DISAPPEARED, Lily Williams makes the point that small changes (like the disappearance of bees) can have huge and catastrophic consequences in our environment. To support this takeaway, she adopts a cause and effect text structure. She spends a few spreads giving readers a sense of bees and their importance in our world. Then she shows us what would happen if bees disappeared in a smooth cause/effect chain. For example, if bees disappeared, then flowers would disappear, then foods requiring flowers disappear, then animals that eat those foods would disappear. The catastrophic results grow. Williams’s structure is a perfect match for her takeaway.

Stories as unique as fingerprints

The way a writer tells their story is as unique as their fingerprints. Every author comes to their story with their own life experiences and values. That means each author will likely make a different point, even when writing about the same exact topic. In turn, those unique takeaways influence other craft choices like structure, voice, point of view, and so much more. The result? Three books on the same topic can be completely different.

Your turn

Fellow writers, what’s your takeaway? How might it influence your structure, voice, point of view, and other craft elements of your story?

Writing

Killer Concepts: What’s Your Point?

Kirsten W. Larson

Welcome to the second installment in the “Killer Concepts” series where we’re exploring:

  • What makes a killer concept when it comes to a nonfiction (or any) book?
  • What makes an idea jump out from a writer’s notebook and demand to be written?
  • What makes editors snap it up?
  • And what makes readers flock to the book and keep turning the pages?

(NOTE: If you want to explore these ideas in detail in a workshop environment, I invite you to join me for “Reimagining Your Nonfiction Picture Book” beginning June 8 at online The Writing Barn. Learn more and sign up here.)

Last month we looked at the first test: the logine test from Blake Snyder’s SAVE THE CAT. It’s a test focused on the external elements of the story — the character, basic plot, and the hooks that will pull readers (and editors) in. Today, we are going to shift focus to the internal and universal.

The Story Genius Approach

Many authors have read Lisa Cron’s books, STORY GENIUS and WIRED FOR STORY. This test comes from STORY GENIUS, and it’s simple indeed. Cron encourages us to ask “What’s Your Point?” It’s a question she asks even the youngest writers as they work to squeeze meaning from simple story prompts. She argues that writers must begin making their point on the very first page.

Cron’s question forces us to look at two things: the universal theme (or takeaway, as I like to call it) and the protagonist’s internal conflict and arc.

The Takeaway (your point)

The best nonfiction books aren’t simply collections of interesting facts. That’s for newspapers or magazines or even the internet. There has to be a larger meaning or takeaway for young readers. What message will resonate with them when they close the book? What will they take to heart in the process of reading the story? This is the takeaway.

The best way I know to get to the takeaway is to ask Cron’s question: “What’s your point?” Here’s “the point” for some of my books:

  • Failure is to be expected, and perseverance pays off — WOOD, WIRE, WINGS, illus. Tracy Subisak
  • Anyone can be a hero and change the world —A TRUE WONDER, illus. Katy Wu
  • Discovering something new takes curiosity, hard work, and perseverance. — THE FIRE OF STARS, illus. Katherine Roy
This is the book cover for THE FIRE OF STARS, illus. Katherine Roy

All of my books are narrative. Yet, “what’s the point?” works for expository books too. One of my favorite expository books is Melissa Stewart’s PIPSQUEAKS, SLOWPOKES, AND STINKERS, illus. Stephanie Laberis. Stewart’s point is that sometimes what we see as weaknesses are really strengths. What a powerful point for kids!

This is the cover for Pipsqueaks, Slowpokes, and Stinkers by Melissa Stewart, illustrated by Stephanie Laberis

Your point, your plot

Once you have your “point” in place, it becomes the endpoint for the book. That’s where your character’s journey winds up. So who is your character at the beginning? Where do they start? It should be as far away as possible from where they wind up. That way, their journey can be long and difficult and filled with ups and downs (plot events) that will help them learn the point.

In nonfiction, we don’t make things up, but it’s all about choices. We choose where to start the journey and where it ends. We choose what plot events contribute to the point we are trying to make. If you don’t know your point, you can’t know your plot.

Expository books may not have a plot, but they do have readers who change and come to a new understanding through reading the book. Your “point” (takeaway) is still an endpoint and likely makes up the last spread of your picture book. So where is your reader at the beginning? What assumptions or misbeliefs are they toiling under? What examples will best make your point and change your reader’s thinking? What order should they be arranged for maximum effect?

Talking about takeaway is something we do in the very first week of my nonfiction revision class, because I truly believe the point we are trying to make as writers influences every choice we make in terms of structure, voice, and more. You may not know your point in your first draft. Drafting may even help you find your point, but it’s critical to lock it down in revision.

Arts/Crafts, Books, Education, Homeschool, Science/Math

Make Your Own Stellar Scene

Kirsten W. Larson

Each month, I’ll spotlight a book-based educational activity teachers and homeschooling parents can use with their students. This activity was created by FIRE OF STARS illustrator Katherine Roy. It appears in our educators’ guide, which you’ll find here.

James Webb Telescope image of the Southern Ring Nebula.
Southern Ring Nebula IMAGE credit: NASA, ESA, CSA, STScI 

Make Your Own Stellar Scene

The James Webb Space Telescope was launched in 2021 and is the largest optical telescope in space. It is capable of producing high-resolution photographs of ancient, remote galaxies like no telescope before it. Show images that the James Webb Space Telescope has taken to the class. 

  1. What are the different colors and shapes in these photographs?
  2. How do the photographs make them feel?
  3. How big or small do you think these scenes are? 
  4. What marks or textures could be used to represent these scenes in a drawing? 

Explain that illustrator Katherine Roy used an old toothbrush dipped in ink and watercolor to represent the star storyline in THE FIRE OF STARS: The Life and Brilliance of the Woman Who Discovered What Stars Are Made Of. To make their own stellar scenes, students will need:

  • paper
  • old toothbrushes or paint brushes 
  • watercolor, paint, or ink 
  • water 
  • salt 
  1. Make a swirling circle in the middle of your paper. 
  2. Get a little more paint or ink on your brush and make bigger swirls. These are the gases orbiting your newly formed star.
  3. Try making some thick marks. Now try making some thin marks. What feels right to you? 
  4. Try adding spatter marks and salt to represent dust and particles.  

When the paintings are completed, display the paintings in a classroom gallery for their own view of the cosmos.  

THE FIRE OF STARS book cover
Writing

Creating luminous, lyrical nonfiction voice

Kirsten W. Larson

THE FIRE OF STARS, written by me, illustrated by Katherine Roy (Chronicle Books) releases in just 18 days, and I’m getting excited. It’s hard to believe it’s been 8 and a half years since I wrote my first draft of this (now) lyrical nonfiction book. It certainly didn’t start out that way.

Here’s the opening of the book, which I’ve transcribed below:

This is the opening spread of THE FIRE OF STARS


Wrapped in a blanket of sparkling space, 
an unformed star waits for its bright future to begin.
Cecilia kicks and cries.
Until her mother
sets her down
so Cecilia can feel with her own tiny toes
the cold and crackly snow,
which isn’t soft and warm like she expected.
It’s the first time Cecilia learns things aren’t always as they seem.

–THE FIRE OF STARS

An earlier draft my agent saw read much differently. Here it is:

“[Cecilia] was full of surprises and driven by a curiosity as wide as the universe. Young Cecilia spent hours outside watching slimy slugs slink through her garden, picking out constellations in the night sky, and counting trees among her best friends.”

What changed? Aside from starting with one, concrete scene, I learned to write lyrically thanks to Renee LaTulippe’s Lyrical Language Lab. That class was transformative for my writing, and today I want to focus on one thing I learned in that class, the use of sound devices. Sound devices add musicality to our writing, helping us set a specific mood.

Sound Devices

Renee discusses sound devices in this video on her Lyrical Language Lab YouTube channel. Some of the elements she covers include:

  • alliteration
  • assonance
  • consonance
  • rhyme

Let’s look at each sound device in turn with examples to see how it adds to the lyrical voice I’ve chosen.

Alliteration

Alliteration is when words that are close together start with the same letter or sound. For example, “Wrapped in a blanket of sparkling space,/ an unformed star waits for its bright future to begin./Cecilia kicks and cries.”

In this passage, I’ve started many word with the soft “s” sound, giving the first couple of lines a hushed sound, like a baby sleeping. Then I pivot to a sharp “k” sound for “kicks and cries” and “cold and crackly snow” mimicking the sharp cries of a baby (and the harsh snow). That’s alliteration, and I’ve used it to create a specific effect.

Assonance

This phrases above also have examples of assonance, including bright/cries and own/toes/snow. You might also notice that I picked a lot of long vowel sounds, which add the overall soft/hushed tone of the opening.

Consonance

Consonance is when words close to each other have the same consonant sound anywhere in the words. A good example of this is in the very first line, which is peppered with “p” sounds: “Wrapped in a blanket of sparkling space…” Again, these are soft consonant sounds adding to quiet mood of snow-covered stillness and of wonder.

Rhyme

In prose picture books, we don’t usually use end rhyme, but we can use internal rhyme. Internal rhyme is when words in the middle of a line rhyme. Later in the book, I have a line that reads :”Cecilia is forced to say hello to city streets full of strangers/ and good-bye to the company of trees and bees.” Trees rhymes with bees, a good example of internal rhyme.

Your Turn

Ready to apply some of these sound devices to your own work?

Think about your draft and the mood you are trying to create. Is it quiet and soothing filled with soft consonants and long vowel sounds? Or is it active and playful, with hard consonants and short vowels?

Once you’ve decided your approach, you can use tools like Thesaurus.com (for help with alliteration and consonance) and Rhymezone.com (for assonance and internal rhyme). How could you transform a sentence like “The kite flies through the air?” using the thesaurus and Rhymezone?

You could try, “The kite glides through the sky” for extra assonance. Or “The kite swoops through the sky” for alliteration. What else can you come up with? Do any of these alter the mood?

Adding musicality isn’t hard. The key with sound devices is not to overdo them. Too much alliteration, for example, can cause the reader to stumble over the words. Always read your work out loud to make sure it’s both clear and musical.

To read THE FIRE OF STARS, ask your library to order a copy or order your own. THE FIRE OF STARS is still available for preorder wherever books are sold! You can buy signed copies (with a preorder bonus postcard) through Once Upon a Time (scroll down my FIRE OF STARS page for the link.)

Writing

The Plot Power of “Because of That”

Kirsten W. Larson

For me, one of the most difficult parts of writing nonfiction (or any narrative, really) is choosing what fascinating parts of the story to include and what to delete because it doesn’t fit the focus of the book. One of my most valuable tools for figuring out what belongs is three simple words: “because of that.”

The story spine

I first learned about linking plot points with the phrase “because of that” in this Pixar/Khan Academy video about story spines, pictured below. Once the main character sets off to pursue her big goal in Act 2, her choices should drive the action. “Because of that” ensures that each action and each choice in the second act leads directly to the next. If you can fit “because of that” between your plot points, then your main character has agency.

But what if “because of that” doesn’t fit? What if your plot is more like, “This happened, and then that happened, and then that happened.” If you are using “and then” to link your plot points, that’s a strong indicator that your plot is a random collection of events happening to your protagonist. You need to reevaluate. Who is driving the action? Does each scene have a connection to the protagonist’s big goal?

An example

Let’s look at THE FIRE OF STARS as an example. Cecilia Payne was such a fascinating woman, and there was so much I wanted to include in the book. At one time, the book included all kinds of tidbits, including the fact that when Cecilia won a prize at school and could pick any book she wanted, she selected a textbook about fungi. Though this fact was interesting, it didn’t have real bearing on the Cecilia’s lifelong quest to discover something new, so I ultimately discarded it. In a novel, I might have had the space to keep the scene to illuminate Cecilia’s character, but in a picture book I had to be ruthless.

Let’s look at a plot outline for THE FIRE OF STARS, and you’ll see what I mean.

  1. Once upon a time there was a young girl, Cecilia Payne, who was captivated by the natural world.
  2. Everyday she studied trees and flowers.
  3. Until one day, she discovered on her own why a bee orchid looked like a bee, and her whole body hummed with that discovery. In that moment, she decided she wanted to feel like that her whole life.
  4. But Cecilia’s family moved to London to find a better school for her brother, and because of that, Cecilia went to a new school with no space for a curious girl like her.
  5. Because of that, she hid out in a secret place — a dusty science lab for older girls.
  6. Because of that, she taught herself about science, and soon required a science tutor who gave Cecilia her first book on astronomy.
  7. Because of that, Cecilia was accepted to Cambridge University to study botany (because girls couldn’t study astronomy).
  8. Because of that, she took science classes where teachers wanted her to learn facts, not learn anything new.
  9. Because of that, she jumped at the chance to hear astronomer Arthur Eddington talk about his new discoveries at a lecture.
  10. Because of that, she switched her studies to physics where she was the only woman and teased by the men.
  11. Because of that, when she graduated and learned there was no place for women in astronomy at Cambridge, she moved to America to work at Harvard College Observatory.
  12. Because of that, she was surrounded by glass plates capturing the essence of stars and women who cataloged them.
  13. Because of that, Cecilia studied the star ingredients for her thesis, but grew frustrated when she couldn’t make out their meaning. But she stuck with it.
  14. Until finally, she made her groundbreaking discovery about what makes the stars — and our universe.
  15. And ever since that day, other astrophysicists have used Cecilia’s discovery to ask new questions and make more amazing discoveries about our universe.
  16. And the moral of the story is that what makes a scientist is curiosity, passion, hard work, and belief in oneself.

By using “because of that” I’ve made sure Cecilia is driving her own story and that every action has a consequence that forces Cecilia to make another choice in a smooth chain of cause and effect.

Your turn

Grab a narrative draft (nonfiction or fiction) and outline your plot using the story spine. Are you able to use the words “because of that” between your plot points? Or is it a bunch of “and then this?” What adjustments do you need to make to your plot a series of causes and effects?

One more thing

If you want to study THE FIRE OF STARS, illus. Katherine Roy, more closely, the book will release Feb. 7, 2023 from Chronicle Books. It’s a lyrical, double read aloud with Cecilia’s story told alongside the story of star formation. You can preorder it now wherever books are sold. You’ll find all the buy links here. Or ask your local library to purchase a copy.

Books, News

THE FIRE OF STARS strikes gold

Kirsten W. Larson
This is a graphic showing that THE FIRE OF STARS is a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard selection

Big news…THE FIRE OF STARS, illustrated by the amazing Katherine Roy, is a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection. I am so grateful to the JLG editorial team for this honor. Each year, the JLG editorial team reads thousands of books before they are published, and selects only the best for their member librarians. 95% of the books they select go on to get starred reviews, win awards, and appear on “best of” lists. Hooray!

THE FIRE OF STARS is now being released three weeks earlier on 2/7/23. You can preorder now wherever books are sold. All the buy links are on my book page here. For signed copies and preorder goodies, order via Once Upon a Time.